Speaking & Podcasts

My speaker (hi)story

I’ve been speaking since I was one! I loved to talk to friends, family, in class, to the teachers, I was all about answering questions and volunteering to speak when I could. But at the age of 8 I was told I mumble and it rocked my confidence. As labels, especially at a young age, do, it quickly became part of my identity.

Suddenly presentations in elementary school and junior high became the last thing I wanted to do. I pushed through and did them because I had to pass. But it was in high school that a whole new level of fear and shame kicked in. I stood up to do a presentation in grade 10 English and I fumbled some words. The “cool kids” huddled together and began to laugh and mimic me. Being told I mumble was awful enough; popular kids making fun of me felt like a threat. I remember wanting to disappear into the ground and never be heard again.

After that, I realize now, I made an unconscious decision about myself. I decided that I am not a public speaker. Throughout university, I found ways to avoid giving talks. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to answer a question in class because the anxiety overwhelmed me. If you can believe it, I almost chose not to pursue my PhD because I knew there would be an oral defense of my thesis at the end.

Thankfully my desire to study psychology over-rode my fear of the defense which was many years of study away. Nevertheless I continued to hold the belief that I am not a public speaker.

After some time in my private practice I was asked to speak at a fertility conference. Very few psychologists at the time were in the field and the topic was “coping with emotional stress during the fertility process”. This was my wheelhouse at the time, but my public speaking (or lack of) identity kicked in. I almost said no, but my values told me I have to do this, who else will?

I did some speaker training, but it didn’t seem to reduce my fears. I practiced again and again, but I still felt like an imposter. My clients, friends, and family all reassured me but it didn’t help. Bottom line, deep in my subconscious I believed I was not a public speaker - because, through my experiences, public speaking felt like a threat.

I am grateful that I’ve always been a very curious person, and I stumbled upon a subliminal audio that promised to shed my fear of public speaking. I was skeptical but open-minded. I kid you not, within a month I was speaking on that stage with NO fears! I couldn’t believe it!

Since then I have been speaking on stages, conducting workshops, and appearing as a guest speaker on podcasts. I see the impact public speaking has in the world and I continue to hone my skills as a speaker every day! Did you hear that - I called myself a speaker!

In my most recent speaking opportunity I had an insight. For decades I played small, because from my experiences, as well as from being a brown woman, I didn’t believe I could take up space. I convinced myself that I was wasting peoples time, but since the subliminals, the continued training, and experience as a speaker I came to realize that I can indeed pause, be present, and share the wisdom I have accrued over my many years of practice and life confidently with you!

I truly look forward to connecting with you and your world!