My schedule has been full lately. I was invited to give a talk about fertility last week, so much of my extra time after seeing clients and running my therapy groups was spent preparing for that talk.
I felt like I was a human doing last week. Not so much a human being.
It was a good reminder about how we are expected to show up in the world. Somewhere along the line, many of us were taught that our worth was determined by what we “do.” Our education, our careers/jobs, our families, our hobbies, etc.
Let’s be honest. When we meet someone new, the first two questions are, “What’s your name?” and “What do you do?”
This prioritization of “doing” flows down to our kids, and they end up over-scheduled, over-achieving, plugged-in, highly anxious do-ers.
Just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you HAVE to do that thing.
If you feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of “doing,” I invite you to practice “being.”
With the amount of overstimulation we experience, the demands of “doing,” and the expectation to be productive, we have to intentionally create the space to just “be.”
You might feel like “being” sounds boring. You might even associate it with laziness. But in “being,” you are nourishing yourself and recharging your batteries. It brings a deep and meaningful sensation of calm and joy to our lives. Interestingly, it results in greater productivity!
Your days can be a balance of “doing” and “being.” When we strike this balance, life becomes more interesting, meaningful, and successful.
Here’s an example of what a balanced day could look like:
- Make a coffee/tea/water (doing)
- Drink while meditating or gazing out the window (being)
- Make breakfast and get yourself and the kids out the door (doing)
- Work or run an errand (doing)
- Take a quick morning break to watch a funny Youtube video, stretch, or walk (being)
- Eat lunch mindfully and really enjoy the food you are eating (doing and being)
- Work or cross something off your to-do list (doing)
- Take a quick mid-afternoon break and text or call a friend to chat (being)
- Work or pick up the kids (doing)
- Cook dinner (doing)
- Listen to fun music while you cook (being)
- Eat dinner mindfully and enjoy the food you are eating. If your family is around, chat with them. Start by chatting about simple things (being) and you end with task discussions or logistic planning for the next day (doing)
- Help with homework or do your own tasks (doing)
- Watch a comedy on TV or chat/cuddle (being)
- Feel grateful for two things from today, small or big (being)
- Go to sleep! (being)
Aim to end your day in a state of “being.” It will help you get a good night’s sleep, which is critical to feeling balanced in life.
How can you incorporate more “being” into your day today?